Rise of the Short-Stacking Poker Machines

Today I wanna tell you a story that went down early in my online poker career.

On UltimateBet high volume players were assigned personal VIP hosts.

My host’s name was Victor and boy did I love that dude.

Apparently all it takes to win my heart are a couple random fruit baskets, a UB branded gaming chair, and the knowledge that if I had any issues I could call a human who would look into it lickety-split.

Back in those days UB ran regular Rake Races and monthly promotions where you could win entries into $10k events and all kinds of other cash prizes…

And this one insanely annoying, mass multi-tabling, short-stack loving player named Patishh took first place in pretty much all of them.

Patishh played 12 tables for 10 hours a day, seven days a week.

As a matter of fact, his ability to put in mass volume was so prolific he once managed to play for ten hours on UB while simultaneously battling in one of the $10k tournaments seats he won.

If that’s confusing to you, well, it was pretty confusing to me and the other UB regs as well.

You see, Patishh wasn’t LIKE a machine … he WAS a machine.

He was one of my first encounters with a shameless and prolific poker bot.

Patishh was a slight loser in the games but was printing thousands of dollars each month in rakeback and promotional wins.

So when I heard this dude who was regularly knocking me down the UB leaderboards was a robot, the first call I made was to Victor.

That call went something like this:

BRAD: Hey Victor, I’ve recently come across some information that the player Patishh is a robot.

VICTOR: Hey Brad! Patishh? No, no … I’ve spoken with him many times on the phone, he’s a real person.

Cue a 10 seconds of silent bewilderment.

BRAD: Wait, no. I mean he’s not actually a robot.

VICTOR: That’s what I just told you, I’ve spoken with him on the phone!

BRAD: I meant he’s running a computer program that plays for him. He was 12 tabling on UB while also playing in a live $10k event.

VICTOR: Yes, I spoke with him about that. He taught his mom how to play poker so that she could play for him while he was traveling. How cool is that?!

BRAD: ……


BRAD: OK Victor, have a good day.

VICTOR: Bye Brad!

As far as I can remember, Patishh was botting his way to rakeback and promotional win glory right up until Black Friday ended his short-stacking reign of terror.


I have no way of knowing if the creator of Patishh was also spending time learning how to be a great cardplayer but I have my doubts.

Most folks who spend their energy trying to game the system do so because they can’t actually beat the game straight up.

So my guess would be that once Black Friday went down there were a bunch of folks who were running bots that went belly up and got out of the poker world.

They wasted a golden opportunity to work hard at improving their poker skills but decided to take the easier short-term path of least resistance.

That’s the thing about poker:

It is NOT a get-rich-quick scheme.

There is no hack that will take you from a losing to a winning player overnight.

You have to be diligent about working hard to be your best self day after day after day.

You’re not going to see amazing results overnight and it’s going to take you much longer to progress than you’d like…

But, eventually, you develop a skill you get to use for the rest of your life to earn some money.

So if you’re a person who is interested in working hard on improving one of the prime areas in No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em that determines whether you’re a winning or losing player…

Here’s you a link to check out our course on flop cbetting vs. fish, Fish in a Barrel:


Fish in a Barrel re-launches this Saturday at 2 pm EST.

Talk to you tomorrow,

Coach Brad