Recently Nick Howard invited me to come on his podcast.
A question he asked me:
How am I able to set boundaries, while still being able to communicate respect and appreciation for people?
To which I replied:
Respect and appreciation aren’t things that you try to communicate. They’re things that other people can feel are coming from inside you. Creating good relationships isn’t about remembering to show people that you respect or appreciate them.
It’s about creating that feeling inside yourself first.
When you have that, people will immediately know that you care about them, regardless of how you “frame” the message.
When you operate in this way––inside out––you don’t have to spend all your time trying to find the perfect words to say to people.
The essence of what you want to communicate will be easy to pick up.
And people like that.
In terms of your poker game:
If you want to really start to level up your mental toughness and resilience, one of the things that you’re going to need to do is to learn how to start creating that feeling of appreciation for yourself starting from inside your body––not your mind.
When you can create a true felt sense of appreciation for yourself, all your actions and all your thoughts will support you in feeling good rather than slipping into old patterns of fear, anxiety, and self-criticism.
Feel it, don’t think it.
And the good stuff will come.
If you want to learn more about this concept and how it applies to you, check out more of my work here:
Till next week,
Jason Su is the mindset and performance coach at Poker Detox and author of Poker with Presence: Unlocking the Final 15%.